It has been said that there are two kinds of people: people who eat to live and people to live to eat. While the two groups can live and work in harmony, the disparity can be devastating when experienced by couples with differing levels of food fondness. I see this time and time again, friends and loved ones caught up in foodless relationships with no way out.
For the sake of this post, lets define “foodie” as someone who takes a special interest in food, someone who looks forward to their next meal with excitement and wonder and remembers meals from the past with tenderness and appreciation. A foodie is someone who enjoys discussing, thinking, and learning about food. People who identify themselves as foodies follow current food trends, pride themselves on knowing their city’s restaurant scene, and occasionally pronounce things with an unwarranted French accent. (Take a good look in the mirror and say “croissant”). A foodie, most importantly, requires a partner who appreciates and pursues food with matching intensity.
For me, a self-proclaimed foodie, socializing and catching up with friends usually means going out to eat. My friends always seem to say “I love going out to eat with you”. It’s not for the obvious reasons: that I know the best restaurant and am wonderful company. No. This statement is almost always followed by “…because you eat all the things that (insert boyfriend’s name) won’t eat.” And while they give hollow excuses like “He’s just a meat and potatoes kind of guy”, I can see the desperation in their eyes, a desperation that says “I haven’t had sushi in years.”
Eating together is one of the most intimate acts we take part in in both a family and a romantic relationship. In addition to being a basic need for our survival, cooking and eating are very personalized expressions of who we are, where we are from and how we care for ourselves and others. Our food preferences and dietary habits are so deeply rooted in our family, our culture, our emotions, and our world-view. How then, can people with two fundamentally different appetites share and build a happy life together?
Calamari. Hummus. Matcha everything. These once-exotic, now-mainstream foods are being avoided by picky eaters everywhere and their significant others are the unforeseen victims. Weekend after weekend they are dragged to the same restaurants and never asked to split an adventurous appetizer, caught in an endless cycle of food monotony. I find myself wondering how these situations got this far. Were there warning signs? Where did they go on their first date? Surely him ordering a burger for three consecutive dates would be a red flag.
If I can prevent even one foodie from falling victim to a picky partner, I’ll have done my job. While I can’t save my friends who are currently blinded by love, I can provide some warning signs:
- Your dates are planned around non-food activities. Sure, it’s nice to stroll through the park, visit museums, and see movies. But really, shouldn’t the focal point of your date be eating? A day in the park should involve a picnic. Plans to visit a museum should include several near-by dinner options. At the very least, your plan-making should end with “and then we’ll get some ice cream.”
- No daily recap of meals If your potential significant other regularly asks “how was your day?” without following up with “what did you eat?”, that’s a deal breaker. A daily review of all things cooked and eaten is an essential part of a fulfilling relationship for any foodie. (If he/she sends pictures of their meals, you’ve found a keeper!)
- . His/her favorite restaurant is a chain. Let’s do this one rapid-fire style.
Bottomless fries?…. I’m busy.
Half priced appetizers?… I’m not looking for a relationship right now.
Endless shrimp?… It’s not you, it’s me.
Unlimited breadsticks?… It’s you.
Here at @music2mymouth we believe that love has no bounds. Regardless of race, gender, orientation or background, people should feel free to love, date, and marry whoever they want. The union of foodies and non-foodies, however, is one that we cannot support. It is our belief that a relationship between two unequally yolked eaters (food pun!!!) will ultimately deprive those who live to eat. Love is blind, but certainly not tasteless.